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Career Change Mums Returning To Work

The Career Passion Killers

Career Passion Killers

We all know children are passion killers. But nobody tells us we may find ourselves robbed of our career passion too. Many mums return to work, ready to get back to being them. Only to find the career they used to love has lost its shine.

The Pre-children Career

We all expect having children will change our lives in many ways. Mainly for the better. But, let’s be honest, there are some things we begrudgingly accept as part and parcel, rather than embrace excitedly. Sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, kissing goodbye to leisurely Sunday mornings and romantic getaways… Let’s just say the excitement of an early night is for different reasons once kids are in the picture!

Taking the tube (or MRT as it is in Singapore where we lived when my first child was born), arriving into the buzz of the city, picking up a coffee, getting into the office early, embracing the chit chat – especially on a Monday hearing about everyone’s weekend antics… The office was where I spent the majority of my waking hours. I was good at what I did. Well respected, high performing – I loved my job and the environment I was in.

Returning to work I expected these feelings of fulfilment, purpose and “professional me” to come flooding back. Of course I expected adjustments – logistics of childcare being the main one – but this was time for me. I worked incredibly hard to gain a promotion just before my first maternity leave. This was to avoid feeling held back because of taking time out (which is a whole other blog post!). I had no doubt in my mind I would be a professional, career-driven mum.

Return to Work

I returned after my first maternity leave to a different job within the same company. It didn’t go well. I returned feeling unsupported, most of my key stakeholders based on the other side of the globe and in all honesty, felt out of my depth. Exhausted with a seven-month old baby waking around four times a night, feeling lost in a role I had really been newly promoted into – albeit seven months before. I fell pregnant again not long after my return. We moved back to the UK and the next few months are a bit of a blur. I knew I wasn’t happy, but put it down to all the changes – new baby, new job, relocation.

Next time would be different. Returning after my second and final maternity leave would be no joke. I said to my husband “this is the next phase of my career, not me faffing about between having babies this time”. I needed to get it right, no messing around.

Where Did My Career Passion Go?

I was excited and ready to go. Then BANG. I didn’t feel it. I didn’t feel the buzz I had before, in fact quite the opposite. Day by day, I felt more and more disengaged. All the passion that I had had in spades, dissipated. I became resentful of those that seemingly still loved their jobs. I was losing motivation outside of work because of how unhappy I had become. You wouldn’t want to be around me. I felt trapped. I wanted this life, I used to love my job… what was wrong with me? I tried really hard to just get on with it. I told myself things like “When the kids are a bit bigger it will feel better again”… but it didn’t. I speak to so many other women who have experienced the same. The jobs they once loved just don’t bring them satisfaction any more.

What I now understand, is that becoming a mum can shift what is important to you. The things that used to engage you, just don’t any more.

Work Values

Fast forward to now and I love my new career. When I hit my career low, I took time out. Realising having a family had, like so many others, shifted things for me. The company and the job were not the issue. Yes I could probably have been better supported upon my return, but the crux of it was I was trying to be comfortable in my old life. A life that didn’t fit any more. My values had totally changed. The things that used to matter most, didn’t any more. My career, whilst important, was not my everything any longer. I discovered, via coaching, my top values are autonomy, recognition and strong relationships. The reality is, whilst these were being met in part, it was not in a way that also fitted with my needs as a parent of young children.

This of course doesn’t happen to every working mum. There are many happy working mothers – which is fantastic! However, when you do lose the passion you once had, it can hit you hard. Leaving you feeling guilty, confused, unhappy and trapped.

In my coaching I talk a lot about career happiness. I strongly believe being happy in your career is critical. Some feel it’s selfish – surely doing the right thing for our family is the most important thing? Being happy in work impacts how happy we are out of work – as a mother, wife and friend and so is not selfish at all. As parents we owe it to our children to show them we are important as individuals and that we can achieve change for the better in our lives.

You may just need a push to go for it. You may have no idea what the alternative is. If that’s the case and you need help working it out, I’m here and happy to chat – here’s my diary.

You Don’t Have To Stay In A Job That Brings You No Joy

My message here is quite simple. If you have lost the love for your career since becoming a mum, you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you. You don’t have to stay in a job that brings you no joy and could be damaging to your mental health. You most likely don’t hang out in the same bars and wear the same clothes you did 15 years ago (well not everyday at least!). So why should your career remain stuck in the past?

You may also be interested to read The Mum Guilt In Your Career.

Categories
Career Change Flexible Careers Mums Returning To Work

How To Improve Your Personal Brand On Linkedin

Whether you love or hate social media, it can play a major part in how you’re perceived as a job seeker. Not to mention when you’re striving to make it as a freelancer or an entrepreneur. We live in such times when you can cultivate your own personal brand online even without necessarily owning a small business.

Let’s take a closer look at how to squeeze the most out of LinkedIn, the top player in the realm of business-to-business social media. Become a Linkedin Allstar.

Become a LinkedIn AllStar ★

To increase your chances for being matched with a potential employer/client, you need to become an LinkedIn ‘All-Star’ (i.e. hit the highest level of profile strength). To do this, make sure you fill in every one of those boxes!

Intermediate or beginner levels of profile strength are not enough for maximising your brand on LinkedIn. Especially if you’re looking for a new role.

  • An up-to-date headshot,
  • Your current position
  • Your past few positions
  • Industry,
  • Location
  • Education
  • 5+ skills
  • and a profile summary are among the many prerequisites you need to in order to become a Linkedin AllStar. And then, as LinkedIn itself claims:

“You’re in a league of your own. Your profile is 27x more likely to be found in recruiter searches.”

Think of your summary as a business plan for your brand

The final step before achieving your All-Star status is writing a summary. Think of this as a business plan for your personal brand.

Since it may be the only thing someone glancing through your page may read, an inadequately written or incomplete summary can jeopardise your credibility.

A good summary should be an easily readable at-a-glance view of who you are on a professional level. Arrange information in short paragraphs and bulleted lists. It is much better than forcing your reader to laboriously plough through your achievements and accomplishments in large blocks of text.

Take advantage of the LinkedIn recommendation system

You may have several skill endorsements given to you by your connections as they felt appropriate.

Want to step up your LinkedIn game? Then make good use of the recommendation feature and ask someone (preferably someone for whom you would reciprocate the favour) for a recommendation. This carries more weight than an endorsement for a few reasons.

Firstly, it’s a written statement from one of your connections, not just a one-word attribute. Secondly, it takes more time and effort on the part of the recommender. Finally, it contains specifics about the work you have done. Perhaps it focuses on a time you worked on a project together, or maybe it’s someone who reported into you.

Things can be a bit tricky when you’re brand new to asking for a recommendation. First you need to navigate to the connection’s profile page (not yours). Click the more icon in the top section of the profile and then request a recommendation.

Only once you have given or received a recommendation that isn’t hidden will you be able to request a recommendation from the recommendations section of your profile page.

Next, ensure that you have chosen the correct position you are requesting a recommendation for.

Top tip: To increase your response rate for recommendations. Try giving your connection a rough draft of what you would like them to say. After all, people are crazy busy these days!

Lastly, don’t forget to create a show-stopping headline

Most of the LinkedIn members underestimate the importance of this given space on their profile.

Jessica Ross’ advice is to create a mini-narrative of who you are, including keywords people might search for; a mere job title might not suffice. Her own headline is the following: “Marketer & Copywriter | Helping businesses increase their web traffic through creative storytelling & branding”. Pretty impressive, isn’t it?

Of course young people, especially students and graduates, have much less work experience and heady accomplishments to showcase. But they still shouldn’t be afraid to paint a picture of who they are with verve and confidence.

Now you’re on your way to becoming a Linkedin Allstar.

Check out our other blogs on maximising your chances of nailing that job!

Successfully Navigate A Career Change

How To Ace That Interview

Categories
Career Change Flexible Careers Mums Returning To Work Parenting and Work

The Mum Guilt In Your Career

Mum Guilt – A Fact Of Mum Life.

Feeling guilty for feeding them the wrong food, the amount of screen time they have, for being a working mother, for not sending them to enough enrichment activities… the list goes on. 70% of working women having dependent children in the UK, meaning career related mum guilt is a big deal for many of us.

If you are a mum who is passionate about your career, whilst the guilt of course is still a thing, it is definitely dampened by the fact your career makes you feel good – meaning you are a happier, more pleasant person – mum – to be around. But what happens if the passion is gone? If you are unhappy in your career and need to make changes?

As a Career Coach, I speak to many mums who feel guilty for wanting to make such changes. One mum shared “It feels so self-indulgent taking time to work out my career when I should be focussed on what my kids need”. Breaking that down, what she really said was “I’m not worthy of happiness. I should be ok with feeling desperately unhappy a large proportion of the time. My mental health isn’t as important”.

What this statement lacks is the acknowledgment remaining unhappy at work, where we spend up to 80% of our time, would, without a shadow of a doubt, have a negative impact on her over all wellbeing and mental health which would trickle into her relationships with her children, partner and other loved ones.

Being a mum, whilst being the best thing in the world, is also mentally and physically exhausting, sometimes lonely and often thankless. Layer on top a job you dislike or even hate, I can promise will not have a good outcome.

Time To Crush The Mum Guilt

The perception we can only do the job we have always done and so have to suck it up, needs destroying. I and many of my clients have worked through this belief, crushed it, made changes and are a million times happier as a result – and have not suffered significant financial impact (which is often a major concern in career change). Career change does not mean a permanent significant reduction in income nor is it a reason to feel guilty. Fixing something that’s causing immense unhappiness, stress, maybe even resentment or anger, is the best course of action not only for you, but for your family too.

Getting Back To Career Happiness

So where to start? You have made the decision to make a change (well done), but have no clue what to, or how to find the answer.  Going round in circles for some time trying to work this out is not uncommon. You are not alone – this is the exact state my clients come to me in. The bad news? You are going round in circles because you are looking for something that doesn’t exist in your head. The good news? You can do many things to get out of your head to find the answer. 

Here’s how:

Values

The most likely reason you are unhappy is because of a mismatch in your work values. It is critical to understand what’s important to you – a supportive boss? Being challenged? Autonomy? Work-life balance? Working this out is often the biggest indicator of what is wrong with your existing situation – what it is not giving you. Your career move must fit with your top values. If you struggle to figure this out, this test will help: https://www.123test.com/work-values-test/

Skills

Consider the numerous skills you have (developed both inside and outside of work). Which you want to carry on using? Think about the skills you want to use more of or develop further. Again, this will give indicators of what is going wrong in your current role – are you using skills you don’t enjoy using any more? 

Stop Looking For The Solution. 

Bare with me, I haven’t gone crazy! Constantly looking for the answer is what is keeping you stuck. It’s like trying to put the roof on a house with no walls. You need to figure out what the walls are made of first – what will bring you happiness? As above,

  • What are your work values and skills you want to use?
  • Consider your interests?
  • Figure out your non-negotiables?
  • What do you need to feel satisfied at work?

Once you are clearer on these areas you can start thinking of solutions.

Get New Input. 

When the answer does not lie in your own head, you need new input. Take responsibility to find this. Talk to new people, attend workshops, engage with someone with a different, but interesting, job. Google research is great, but there’s a high risk of getting sucked into a black hole, watching cat videos before you know it! Nothing is better than actual human connection for new input to really make a positive impact. Expanding input will open you up to new ideas you didn’t even know existed!

No Filter!

When considering options look out for “I would love to… but”. Thinking of something and moving to all the reasons it won’t work, you filter, validate and decide in one go, based on assumption. Instead write all possible ideas down – crazy and sensible. Research those you are most drawn to. Once you research and understand what that career change would entail then, and only then, you rule it in or out.

This way you know why you want to do a something and look for ways to make it happen – rather than reasons it can’t. Some options you will decide are not viable, but deciding based on fact – not assumption – is the key. 

Taking Control

Taking control of your career when you are stuck and unhappy is nothing to feel guilty or self indulgent about. The cost of ignoring it will be way higher. You deserve more – and so do your children. You are most certainly worth it! Time to crush the mum guilt.

This process is not easy or quick, but definitely possible. If you need help working it all out, I’m here and happy to chat – here’s my diary.

Rebecca can be found via her website www.rebeccaamincoaching.co.uk; Facebook Page and Facebook Group, Career Happy Mums. 

If you are looking for other blogs on career changes try this one: Successfully Navigate A Career change.