Spooky season is here. While working parents up and down the country will be running around trying to find the perfect pumpkins and scouring the web to find a Barbie or Super Mario costume for their little cherub, it’s things that happen at work that scare them the most.
With certain companies removing remote working options for employers, many workers have decided enough is enough. Between that, no career growth, toxic cultures and zero work-life balance it’s no wonder that many employers are joining the great resignation and quitting their jobs.
Here are five scary things employers do that make working parents say NOPE!
1. Moving Away from Remote Working
With the pandemic now a memory, more and more companies are moving away from 100% remote working. This is inconvenient for some, but for working parents it can be a deal breaker.
Flexible childcare service, Pebble, has recently revealed that the move away from remote working is costing parents more than £600 extra per month in childcare. Many are quitting to seek more flexible options elsewhere. A whopping half of the 2,000 parents polled said they planned to quit because of no more remote working and a third said they had already moved to a company with more flexible options.
2. Not Offering Career Growth
If there’s one thing that will make an employee search for a better job, it’s offering no career growth in the one they’re in. Feeling trapped and stagnant makes people unhappy and so employers need to take note. Investing in employee development is key to keeping good workers. By providing opportunities for training, upskilling and career progression, you’re committing to their long-term success and will keep them long-term.
3. Creating a Toxic Culture
Having a toxic work culture can be detrimental for anyone’s mental health and can rightly push employees to seek opportunities elsewhere. Things like being unable to make a mistake, lack of trust, micromanaging, role confusion with no clarity on expectations and excessive stress among staff, will push workers to pastures new. Instead of this, employers should recognise and reward employees, give clear job descriptions and learn to trust.
4. Giving Employees No Purpose or Fulfillment
Having purpose and fulfillment at work is more important than people realise. Employees want to make a meaningful impact in their careers and will seek work that aligns with these values and provides that sense of purpose. If employers don’t offer that, they’re likely to jump ship.
5. Work-life balance
Different from simply more remote working, having true work-life balance means that workers – especially working parents – can properly balance their personal and professional lives. Employers need to embrace flexible working arrangements, offer hybrid work models that allow employees to work remotely part of the time. Flexible working shouldn’t be a perk of a job, it should be a right.
If your a working parent that want to alleviate these fears, take a look at our flexible working roles here.
It’s really common to feel alone. The pandemic has fuelled this even further. We all relate to the saying “we’re all in the same storm, but in very different boats”.
The feeling that everyone is struggling has become normal.
This is unfortunate because it leads to the feeling we should be able to “get on with things” even when life feels more difficult. Maybe you feel afraid to “bother” someone else with your struggle, when the person you are “bothering” is in their own storm too?
As mums many of us have experienced feeling like this before. When someone asks “how are you” and you answer “I’m fine” when the honest answer is that you’re not?
Is this the approach you take in your career too? Answer this question more honestly….
What are we afraid of when it comes to career growth?
Does sharing we are struggling make us weak?
Are we scared we’ll be perceived as not coping at work, if we share that we don’t know how to navigate the next step in our working world? Could others perceive we’re not juggling family and work life successfully enough?
I had a coaching call with a highly intelligent, extremely compassionate and successful woman last week.
This woman is under a lot of pressure at work, as are all of her team. She has spoken to “the powers that be” about her teams stress levels and the impact to their wellbeing. Also she is putting as much as she can in place to alleviate things for them.
I asked “what about you”?
It materialised, she’d been doing the “well it’s busy of course, but I’m fine” approach. She wasn’t “fine” at all. Admitting she wasn’t fine would feel like she was failing: letting people down and giving the impression she can’t cope. She did recognise that if, in three months she breaks down, she’ll be asked, “why didn’t you say something”?
Of course, our conversation was much bigger than this and I truly hope the work we did together has helped her gain a new perspective and understand that honesty is important.
Who’s supporting you and your career growth?
McKinsey found, 18 months after the start of the pandemic, women on average felt more burnt out than men.
Given that the stats show women picked up more of the home-school slack and continued to bare more (on average) of the ‘mental load’ at home, this isn’t a surprise.
McKinsey also found that women are doing more to rise to the Diversity and Inclusion (D&I) challenges and contributing to wellbeing agendas in the workplace, more than ever before. (click here for the full McKinsey article)
They are taking on more work at home and in the office. With this comes a higher risk of burnout. Which in turn may mean many women will remove themselves from leadership opportunities in the future.
This is hardly helping to change the status quo and reduce the gender pay gap.
This got me thinking about how us women work.
It’s clear what we do is nothing short of fantastic.
But are we engaging with others to support us?
If we have the “I’m here to support people and look after their wellbeing, but not my own” approach, that is fast-track to total burnout and exhaustion. It’s evident that fear of failure and perception from others that we aren’t coping, traps many of us into staying stuck in this inefficient work mentality.
If you’re reading this and thinking “Rebecca is literally talking about me” – what may help you?
Allies. Get lots of them to support your career growth.
In different shapes and sizes.
Allies add more value to your career and life in general than you can ever imagine.
Allies may help you
talk things through
bring new perspective
encourage you
introduce you to new people or areas
advocate for you into areas you may otherwise not have access…
Through all of these connections, your confidence will be boosted, you’ll gain new evidence to show you CAN do things you thought you couldn’t.
You may even realise you’re only human and it is ok to be honest, vulnerable and successful – all at once. Nobody is good at everything and there is no such thing as “Superwoman”.
Where can you find allies?
Whilst I strongly believe employers hold responsibility for taking care of their employees, we also need to take some initiative and responsibility ourselves. If we are to grow in our careers, it’s down to us to seek out our own allies. They can help us develop in a range of ways. So who might they be?
Here’s some examples:
Sponsors
Sponsors will help you build credibility. They can use their position of privilege to sponsor your cause or goal.
They can help position you where you want to be and support your career growth.
So, if you’re striving for the next step but finding it hard to access the right people or places, you probably need a sponsor.
The feeling of going it alone and all the self-doubt that can creep in can quickly push you down. Having a sponsor to elevate you and talk things over with and who can help position you, can work wonders.
>>WHERE TO GET ONE?
Maybe you can find someone more senior in your workplace to mentor you who can act as a sponsor? Think also about people outside of your workplace, who do you know that is successful in the area you are striving to reach who can be your sponsor elsewhere?
Amplifiers
Amplifiers are able to “shout” for you in a crowded space, where you may not ordinarily be heard. They will help you have a voice. So if you’re struggling to get your message to the right people, who may be an amplifier for you?
>> WHERE TO GET ONE:
The Find Your Flex team can definitely help you find employers who are open to conversations around all modes of flexible employment opportunities.
Maybe you feel like every time you apply to a job you are just another faceless applicant in a crowded market. Who do you know – or could get to know – that works there already? They can be your amplifier!
Advocates
Advocates are able to use their power, influence, status or seniority to bring you into their circle.
This can be helpful in a multitude of circumstance. Whether that’s the next career step, or simply needing someone to tell you the pressure you are putting yourself under is too much.
Rather than feeling like you are demonstrating your inability to cope (highly unlikely to be true by the way!), who can help advocate for you and your team?
Using a more senior or experienced voice may be the key to being heard and finding better ways of working.
>> WHERE TO GET THIS?
To find your advocate you must be honest and even a little vulnerable. Find that person who already has a “seat at the table” that you want to be sitting at. Share with them what you are trying to achieve so they can be your voice in their already existing circle of trust and influence.
Scholars
Scholars are ready to listen and learn about things that impact your ability to reach your goals and can help to act or influence change. Are you working on what feels like an impossible task because one thing in your organization persistently gets in the way? Who could that scholar be that is ready to listen and understand and help remove that?
>>WHERE TO GET THIS:
This will really depend on your struggle. For example, maybe everyone else is physically present in a meeting at 4pm that you simply cannot be in due to childcare commitments. This may impact your ability to reach a certain goal as you never hear the important stuff first hand. Who may be willing to hear and learn from this and influence change? Maybe you feel there is a diversity & Inclusion issue that stops you reaching your goals due to unconscious bias. Will increasing your network and raising awareness help?
Confidant
A confidant will create a safe space to express your fears, frustrations and needs – and help you navigate through them. This is that person you can be truly honest and vulnerable with. I put myself in this category as a career coach. In the example I shared above with my client, I was acting as her confidant. Nobody in her organization will ever hear that conversation, but they will, hopefully, see the results. The results will enable her to approach things in a slightly different way but gain a positive impact for her and her team.
Connector
A connector is willing and able to share useful connections to help you towards your goals.
We all know them. That person who always says “oh, I should put you in touch with X! You two would really get along / they could really help you with that / they know all about that”. These people are great for so many reasons – especially when you’re struggling, can’t see the next steps and don’t have the right connections.
SO TAKE ACTION!
You are not an island.
Nobody wins when you hit burnout or stay struggling in a job that is no longer right for you.
So let me leave you with this:
What is your struggle?
What is the one (or two & THREE!) thing that feels hardest right now?
What would you like it to look like instead?
With that in mind, what type of ally (or allies) could help you with that?
Who are they and what needs to happen for you to start that conversation? Think outside the box –allies could be peers, mentors, previous colleagues, mentors, coaches…
Engaging and building ally-ships can take some time – which you may say you don’t have. However, one thing I can guarantee is, by shifting your mind-set this way and taking time to do so, you’ll always find new ways to do things you never thought were possible. There are no prizes for doing everything alone.
“I must get my CV updated!” “I haven’t done one for years – I have no idea where to start!” “How will I explain my career break?” “What’s the best format to write my CV in?” “How can I make my CV work for me when I want to change career?”
These are statements I hear several times a week. The CV is still perceived as the ticket to a job by many. The make or break of those endless applications… Do we still need to be wedded to our CVs in this way? Are employers primarily focussed on the content of your CV? How long do they even spend reading your carefully crafted document you spent hours perfecting?
Your CV in Six seconds.
Six seconds is the average time a Recruiter spends scanning a CV at the application stage. It doesn’t balance with the hours you put into it does it?
At this point in time, CVs still form a part of a recruitment process in most cases. Even if other assessment methods are used at the application stage, we are still very likely to be asked to submit a CV.
However, with 72% of organisations reporting at the start of 2020 they struggle to find the right skill set via CV applications – despite an average of 250 applicants per role (Gurvinder Singh –TechRank) -are CVs the best tool for recruiting? Based on these stats, they aren’t working. But why?
It could have something to do with the six second scan time I mentioned above! It could be due to a CV really only representing how good you are at writing a CV. If you are great at packing loads of potential keywords into your CV so an Applicant Tracking System (ATS) flags you as a good fit, you will get an interview. If you have great skills but your CV doesn’t have the keywords, maybe you won’t be invited for the next stage.
CVs are highly impacted by reader’s interpretation and unconscious(and conscious) bias. Is English your second language? If your CV isn’t written as eloquently due to this, you may be rejected, despite being a great fit for the job. A CV is a page of words. A picture is formed from it’s contents and inferences are made unconsciously. A CV does not demonstrate how good we are at anything, how much support we had or if our skills are actually a bit rusty.
So what is the answer?
I mentioned keywords – if I could give one tip it would be to get as many keywords, that fit the job description, into your CV as possible! That way you are more likely to get through the ATS. But if CVs are essentially just a piece of paper reflecting how good we are at writing CVs, what more can we do?
Sticking with CVs for a moment, there are other ways to write or present them.
Skills based CVs
Skills based CVs are becoming increasingly popular. This is a small shift but allows you to present your skills or competencies on the first page – outlining what you good at and how you have demonstrated them in various roles. You can then list your chronological experience on the second page but with no need for lots of detail. The point of this is to pull out the relevant stuff and hit the reader with it off the bat, on page one. Abby Clandon, a Recruiter within the care sector shared she “doesn’t mind what type of CV we receive, as long as it displays why (you) are the right candidate… A combination of skills based with chronological content is best”.
Matthew Metcalfe of Covea Insurance Plc went as far as saying that the “CV plays a tiny part in identifying talent… the most important moment is when we get to speak to the candidates”. Which got me thinking, we need to be talking to Recruiters and hiring managers as soon as possible – ideally before a role is even advertised!
Networking
Business Insider has reported upwards of 70% of jobs never reach the job boards. 70%! Another reason the traditional “apply with your CV route” is possibly dying out. This of course opens up all sorts of arguments around equal opportunities etc, but it is happening whether we agree with it or not. So the “I must update my CV” is not the best place to start.
Networking is vital. If you have been able to speak to someone, build a relationship before the request for a CV comes. You are definitely more than a few steps ahead. It also means, if a CV is requested you will already have insider info ensuring your CV is more relevant. As Abby Clandon shared, the key thing she looks for is passion for the area of work. So much so in fact her organisation doesn’t even insist on sending a CV. Their assessment is primarily focussed on a values based interview.
Video CV
Getting your personality, your passion and your skills across to a potential employer will definitely make you stand apart from the crowd of Word documents and PDFs. Video CVs are becoming more popular in the graduate space and in the US. There is no reason these cannot be used for professional roles here in the UK. Of course you will want to stick to the application criteria, which may include a written CV. But there is nothing stopping you supplementing your application with a short, 1-2 minute intro video. A short intro to you, why you want the job and what you can bring to it. This is like giving them that first impression they would get in a face-to-face interview, but much earlier on.
Get Creative with your CV
We have all read the stories about people mailing boxes of cakes to employers with their CV printed over the box. This would be great for a Graphic Designer for example, but maybe not so much for an Accountant. That said – why not?
I have seen people turn CVs into QR codes printed across a picture of their face. IT professionals converting their CVs into a mini video game. Ok, cakes or video games may not play to your strengths, but finding ways to stand out that are relevant to your industry and reaching the right Recruiters and Hiring Managers may well get you a meeting. At least purely on the basis of standing out.
Visual CVs
Whilst based on the format of a traditional CV, this tool allows you to produce a document accessible via a link. You can embed video, blogs, PowerPoint documents and more. This allows you to easily amend your visual CV to match potential jobs or to send whilst networking. This is a great choice for those that still wish to have a document (you can download as a PDF) whilst adding more personal touches to get your personality across.
So what does all this mean? The traditional CV doesn’t seem to be disappearing, but it isn’t the only tool in your box. Rather than agonising over your CV as your first step into your job search, switch your focus. Add more to your Linked In profile to make it relevant for the job you want. Make use of video or visual tools to supplement your networking and applications. You will stand a better chance of getting noticed. Whilst employers still use CVs, as technology progresses it is likely they will become less and less important. I can’t say you no longer need one, but make use of the tools out there get more creative, more adaptable – more YOU! It is YOU that will get the job – your CV, is simply your sales and marketing tool.
Rebecca Amin is a Career Coach helping parents feeling stuck in their careers, find their paths back to career happiness. Rebecca can be found via her website www.rebeccaamincoaching.co.uk; Facebook Page and Facebook Group, Career Happy Mums.
For more advice on CV’s:
How To Approach A CV When You’ve Had A Career Break
We all know children are passion killers. But nobody tells us we may find ourselves robbed of our career passion too. Many mums return to work, ready to get back to being them. Only to find the career they used to love has lost its shine.
The Pre-children Career
We all expect having children will change our lives in many ways. Mainly for the better. But, let’s be honest, there are some things we begrudgingly accept as part and parcel, rather than embrace excitedly. Sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, kissing goodbye to leisurely Sunday mornings and romantic getaways… Let’s just say the excitement of an early night is for different reasons once kids are in the picture!
Taking the tube (or MRT as it is in Singapore where we lived when my first child was born), arriving into the buzz of the city, picking up a coffee, getting into the office early, embracing the chit chat – especially on a Monday hearing about everyone’s weekend antics… The office was where I spent the majority of my waking hours. I was good at what I did. Well respected, high performing – I loved my job and the environment I was in.
Returning to work I expected these feelings of fulfilment, purpose and “professional me” to come flooding back. Of course I expected adjustments – logistics of childcare being the main one – but this was time for me. I worked incredibly hard to gain a promotion just before my first maternity leave. This was to avoid feeling held back because of taking time out (which is a whole other blog post!). I had no doubt in my mind I would be a professional, career-driven mum.
Return to Work
I returned after my first maternity leave to a different job within the same company. It didn’t go well. I returned feeling unsupported, most of my key stakeholders based on the other side of the globe and in all honesty, felt out of my depth. Exhausted with a seven-month old baby waking around four times a night, feeling lost in a role I had really been newly promoted into – albeit seven months before. I fell pregnant again not long after my return. We moved back to the UK and the next few months are a bit of a blur. I knew I wasn’t happy, but put it down to all the changes – new baby, new job, relocation.
Next time would be different. Returning after my second and final maternity leave would be no joke. I said to my husband “this is the next phase of my career, not me faffing about between having babies this time”. I needed to get it right, no messing around.
Where Did My Career Passion Go?
I was excited and ready to go. Then BANG. I didn’t feel it. I didn’t feel the buzz I had before, in fact quite the opposite. Day by day, I felt more and more disengaged. All the passion that I had had in spades, dissipated. I became resentful of those that seemingly still loved their jobs. I was losing motivation outside of work because of how unhappy I had become. You wouldn’t want to be around me. I felt trapped. I wanted this life, I used to love my job… what was wrong with me? I tried really hard to just get on with it. I told myself things like “When the kids are a bit bigger it will feel better again”… but it didn’t. I speak to so many other women who have experienced the same. The jobs they once loved just don’t bring them satisfaction any more.
What I now understand, is that becoming a mum can shift what is important to you. The things that used to engage you, just don’t any more.
Work Values
Fast forward to now and I love my new career. When I hit my career low, I took time out. Realising having a family had, like so many others, shifted things for me. The company and the job were not the issue. Yes I could probably have been better supported upon my return, but the crux of it was I was trying to be comfortable in my old life. A life that didn’t fit any more. My values had totally changed. The things that used to matter most, didn’t any more. My career, whilst important, was not my everything any longer. I discovered, via coaching, my top values are autonomy, recognition and strong relationships. The reality is, whilst these were being met in part, it was not in a way that also fitted with my needs as a parent of young children.
This of course doesn’t happen to every working mum. There are many happy working mothers – which is fantastic! However, when you do lose the passion you once had, it can hit you hard. Leaving you feeling guilty, confused, unhappy and trapped.
In my coaching I talk a lot about career happiness. I strongly believe being happy in your career is critical. Some feel it’s selfish – surely doing the right thing for our family is the most important thing? Being happy in work impacts how happy we are out of work – as a mother, wife and friend and so is not selfish at all. As parents we owe it to our children to show them we are important as individuals and that we can achieve change for the better in our lives.
You may just need a push to go for it. You may have no idea what the alternative is. If that’s the case and you need help working it out, I’m here and happy to chat – here’s my diary.
You Don’t Have To Stay In A Job That Brings You No Joy
My message here is quite simple. If you have lost the love for your career since becoming a mum, you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you. You don’t have to stay in a job that brings you no joy and could be damaging to your mental health. You most likely don’t hang out in the same bars and wear the same clothes you did 15 years ago (well not everyday at least!). So why should your career remain stuck in the past?
Whether you love or hate social media, it can play a major part in how you’re perceived as a job seeker. Not to mention when you’re striving to make it as a freelancer or an entrepreneur. We live in such times when you can cultivate your own personal brand online even without necessarily owning a small business.
Let’s take a closer look at how to squeeze the most out of LinkedIn, the top player in the realm of business-to-business social media. Become a Linkedin Allstar.
Become a LinkedIn AllStar ★
To increase your chances for being matched with a potential employer/client, you need to become an LinkedIn ‘All-Star’ (i.e. hit the highest level of profile strength). To do this, make sure you fill in every one of those boxes!
Intermediate or beginner levels of profile strength are not enough for maximising your brand on LinkedIn. Especially if you’re looking for a new role.
An up-to-date headshot,
Your current position
Your past few positions
Industry,
Location
Education
5+ skills
and a profile summary are among the many prerequisites you need to in order to become a Linkedin AllStar. And then, as LinkedIn itself claims:
“You’re in a league of your own. Your profile is 27x more likely to be found in recruiter searches.”
Think of your summary as a business plan for your brand
The final step before achieving your All-Star status is writing a summary. Think of this as a business plan for your personal brand.
Since it may be the only thing someone glancing through your page may read, an inadequately written or incomplete summary can jeopardise your credibility.
A good summary should be an easily readable at-a-glance view of who you are on a professional level. Arrange information in short paragraphs and bulleted lists. It is much better than forcing your reader to laboriously plough through your achievements and accomplishments in large blocks of text.
Take advantage of the LinkedIn recommendation system
You may have several skill endorsements given to you by your connections as they felt appropriate.
Want to step up your LinkedIn game? Then make good use of the recommendation feature and ask someone (preferably someone for whom you would reciprocate the favour) for a recommendation. This carries more weight than an endorsement for a few reasons.
Firstly, it’s a written statement from one of your connections, not just a one-word attribute. Secondly, it takes more time and effort on the part of the recommender. Finally, it contains specifics about the work you have done. Perhaps it focuses on a time you worked on a project together, or maybe it’s someone who reported into you.
Things can be a bit tricky when you’re brand new to asking for a recommendation. First you need to navigate to the connection’s profile page (not yours). Click the more icon in the top section of the profile and then request a recommendation.
Only once you have given or received a recommendation that isn’t hidden will you be able to request a recommendation from the recommendations section of your profile page.
Next, ensure that you have chosen the correct position you are requesting a recommendation for.
Top tip: To increase your response rate for recommendations. Try giving your connection a rough draft of what you would like them to say. After all, people are crazy busy these days!
Lastly, don’t forget to create a show-stopping headline
Most of the LinkedIn members underestimate the importance of this given space on their profile.
Jessica Ross’ advice is to create a mini-narrative of who you are, including keywords people might search for; a mere job title might not suffice. Her own headline is the following: “Marketer & Copywriter | Helping businesses increase their web traffic through creative storytelling & branding”. Pretty impressive, isn’t it?
Of course young people, especially students and graduates, have much less work experience and heady accomplishments to showcase. But they still shouldn’t be afraid to paint a picture of who they are with verve and confidence.
Now you’re on your way to becoming a Linkedin Allstar.
Check out our other blogs on maximising your chances of nailing that job!
Feeling guilty for feeding them the wrong food, the amount of screen time they have, for being a working mother, for not sending them to enough enrichment activities… the list goes on. 70% of working women having dependent children in the UK, meaning career related mum guilt is a big deal for many of us.
If you are a mum who is passionate about your career, whilst the guilt of course is still a thing, it is definitely dampened by the fact your career makes you feel good – meaning you are a happier, more pleasant person – mum – to be around. But what happens if the passion is gone? If you are unhappy in your career and need to make changes?
As a Career Coach, I speak to many mums who feel guilty for wanting to make such changes. One mum shared “It feels so self-indulgent taking time to work out my career when I should be focussed on what my kids need”. Breaking that down, what she really said was “I’m not worthy of happiness. I should be ok with feeling desperately unhappy a large proportion of the time. My mental health isn’t as important”.
What this statement lacks is the acknowledgment remaining unhappy at work, where we spend up to 80% of our time, would, without a shadow of a doubt, have a negative impact on her over all wellbeing and mental health which would trickle into her relationships with her children, partner and other loved ones.
Being a mum, whilst being the best thing in the world, is also mentally and physically exhausting, sometimes lonely and often thankless. Layer on top a job you dislike or even hate, I can promise will not have a good outcome.
Time To Crush The Mum Guilt
The perception we can only do the job we have always done and so have to suck it up, needs destroying. I and many of my clients have worked through this belief, crushed it, made changes and are a million times happier as a result – and have not suffered significant financial impact (which is often a major concern in career change). Career change does not mean a permanent significant reduction in income nor is it a reason to feel guilty. Fixing something that’s causing immense unhappiness, stress, maybe even resentment or anger, is the best course of action not only for you, but for your family too.
Getting Back To Career Happiness
So where to start? You have made the decision to make a change (well done), but have no clue what to, or how to find the answer. Going round in circles for some time trying to work this out is not uncommon. You are not alone – this is the exact state my clients come to me in. The bad news? You are going round in circles because you are looking for something that doesn’t exist in your head. The good news? You can do many things to get out of your head to find the answer.
Here’s how:
Values
The most likely reason you are unhappy is because of a mismatch in your work values. It is critical to understand what’s important to you – a supportive boss? Being challenged? Autonomy? Work-life balance? Working this out is often the biggest indicator of what is wrong with your existing situation – what it is not giving you. Your career move must fit with your top values. If you struggle to figure this out, this test will help: https://www.123test.com/work-values-test/
Skills
Consider the numerous skills you have (developed both inside and outside of work). Which you want to carry on using? Think about the skills you want to use more of or develop further. Again, this will give indicators of what is going wrong in your current role – are you using skills you don’t enjoy using any more?
Stop Looking For The Solution.
Bare with me, I haven’t gone crazy! Constantly looking for the answer is what is keeping you stuck. It’s like trying to put the roof on a house with no walls. You need to figure out what the walls are made of first – what will bring you happiness? As above,
What are your work values and skills you want to use?
Consider your interests?
Figure out your non-negotiables?
What do you need to feel satisfied at work?
Once you are clearer on these areas you can start thinking of solutions.
Get New Input.
When the answer does not lie in your own head, you need new input. Take responsibility to find this. Talk to new people, attend workshops, engage with someone with a different, but interesting, job. Google research is great, but there’s a high risk of getting sucked into a black hole, watching cat videos before you know it! Nothing is better than actual human connection for new input to really make a positive impact. Expanding input will open you up to new ideas you didn’t even know existed!
No Filter!
When considering options look out for “I would love to… but”. Thinking of something and moving to all the reasons it won’t work, you filter, validate and decide in one go, based on assumption. Instead write all possible ideas down – crazy and sensible. Research those you are most drawn to. Once you research and understand what that career change would entail then, and only then, you rule it in or out.
This way you know why you want to do a something and look for ways to make it happen – rather than reasons it can’t. Some options you will decide are not viable, but deciding based on fact – not assumption – is the key.
Taking Control
Taking control of your career when you are stuck and unhappy is nothing to feel guilty or self indulgent about. The cost of ignoring it will be way higher. You deserve more – and so do your children. You are most certainly worth it! Time to crush the mum guilt.
This process is not easy or quick, but definitely possible. If you need help working it all out, I’m here and happy to chat – here’s my diary.
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