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Career Change Mums Returning To Work

The Career Passion Killers

Career Passion Killers

We all know children are passion killers. But nobody tells us we may find ourselves robbed of our career passion too. Many mums return to work, ready to get back to being them. Only to find the career they used to love has lost its shine.

The Pre-children Career

We all expect having children will change our lives in many ways. Mainly for the better. But, let’s be honest, there are some things we begrudgingly accept as part and parcel, rather than embrace excitedly. Sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, kissing goodbye to leisurely Sunday mornings and romantic getaways… Let’s just say the excitement of an early night is for different reasons once kids are in the picture!

Taking the tube (or MRT as it is in Singapore where we lived when my first child was born), arriving into the buzz of the city, picking up a coffee, getting into the office early, embracing the chit chat – especially on a Monday hearing about everyone’s weekend antics… The office was where I spent the majority of my waking hours. I was good at what I did. Well respected, high performing – I loved my job and the environment I was in.

Returning to work I expected these feelings of fulfilment, purpose and “professional me” to come flooding back. Of course I expected adjustments – logistics of childcare being the main one – but this was time for me. I worked incredibly hard to gain a promotion just before my first maternity leave. This was to avoid feeling held back because of taking time out (which is a whole other blog post!). I had no doubt in my mind I would be a professional, career-driven mum.

Return to Work

I returned after my first maternity leave to a different job within the same company. It didn’t go well. I returned feeling unsupported, most of my key stakeholders based on the other side of the globe and in all honesty, felt out of my depth. Exhausted with a seven-month old baby waking around four times a night, feeling lost in a role I had really been newly promoted into – albeit seven months before. I fell pregnant again not long after my return. We moved back to the UK and the next few months are a bit of a blur. I knew I wasn’t happy, but put it down to all the changes – new baby, new job, relocation.

Next time would be different. Returning after my second and final maternity leave would be no joke. I said to my husband “this is the next phase of my career, not me faffing about between having babies this time”. I needed to get it right, no messing around.

Where Did My Career Passion Go?

I was excited and ready to go. Then BANG. I didn’t feel it. I didn’t feel the buzz I had before, in fact quite the opposite. Day by day, I felt more and more disengaged. All the passion that I had had in spades, dissipated. I became resentful of those that seemingly still loved their jobs. I was losing motivation outside of work because of how unhappy I had become. You wouldn’t want to be around me. I felt trapped. I wanted this life, I used to love my job… what was wrong with me? I tried really hard to just get on with it. I told myself things like “When the kids are a bit bigger it will feel better again”… but it didn’t. I speak to so many other women who have experienced the same. The jobs they once loved just don’t bring them satisfaction any more.

What I now understand, is that becoming a mum can shift what is important to you. The things that used to engage you, just don’t any more.

Work Values

Fast forward to now and I love my new career. When I hit my career low, I took time out. Realising having a family had, like so many others, shifted things for me. The company and the job were not the issue. Yes I could probably have been better supported upon my return, but the crux of it was I was trying to be comfortable in my old life. A life that didn’t fit any more. My values had totally changed. The things that used to matter most, didn’t any more. My career, whilst important, was not my everything any longer. I discovered, via coaching, my top values are autonomy, recognition and strong relationships. The reality is, whilst these were being met in part, it was not in a way that also fitted with my needs as a parent of young children.

This of course doesn’t happen to every working mum. There are many happy working mothers – which is fantastic! However, when you do lose the passion you once had, it can hit you hard. Leaving you feeling guilty, confused, unhappy and trapped.

In my coaching I talk a lot about career happiness. I strongly believe being happy in your career is critical. Some feel it’s selfish – surely doing the right thing for our family is the most important thing? Being happy in work impacts how happy we are out of work – as a mother, wife and friend and so is not selfish at all. As parents we owe it to our children to show them we are important as individuals and that we can achieve change for the better in our lives.

You may just need a push to go for it. You may have no idea what the alternative is. If that’s the case and you need help working it out, I’m here and happy to chat – here’s my diary.

You Don’t Have To Stay In A Job That Brings You No Joy

My message here is quite simple. If you have lost the love for your career since becoming a mum, you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you. You don’t have to stay in a job that brings you no joy and could be damaging to your mental health. You most likely don’t hang out in the same bars and wear the same clothes you did 15 years ago (well not everyday at least!). So why should your career remain stuck in the past?

You may also be interested to read The Mum Guilt In Your Career.

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Mums Returning To Work

Killer Mum Skills

To Enhance Your CV

As a mum we learn and perfect a whole host of highly employable skills and talents. But we often overlook these let alone use them to build self confidence, enhance our CV and market our skills.

We can often feel our skills are outdated, our employability is affected and there are career gaps to explain.

There are so many different skills you will have gained whilst raising a young family and these are highly sought after by employers. Here are some of our top killer mum skills:

Time Management

No one knows the value of time better than mums juggling a busy household. You are an expert at juggling multiple tasks and allocating slots in the day and week to get everything done. Meeting deadlines – kids have to be fed on time (avoiding hangry children!), kids at school have to be picked up on time, they can’t be forgotten or simply left outside to wait. You will have mastered how to squeeze as much into a day as possible. These are invaluable skills that enhance your productivity and efficiency at work.

Communication

You will have learned to listen, persuade and counsel your children. Mastering the art of staying calm during tantrums and having to communicate clearly. You also help your children to express themselves and communicate effectively. Communication is a key component in any role and such, these skills will be highly employable.

Problem solving

Every business needs problem solvers. As a mum you will have been faced with a whole host of problems you never knew existed!

  • Getting your newborn to recognise day and night;
  • How to manage temper tantrums when out and about;
  • How to get your child to share toys on a playdate…the list of problems we encounter as mums is widespread and endless.
  • You also learn how to help your child to problem solve for themselves. 

Event management

Your event management skills will have been showcast from party planning to playdates. You will probably have got adept at managing a busy social calendar for your children (they can have busier schedules than the parents!). You will have had to find a venue, create an attendance list, plan entertainment and food and pull off the event. Such events will also demonstrate your ability to plan, organise and manage people.

Creativity

The recent lockdown experience was a particularly good time to work on those creativity skills. You come up with ideas to keep kids occupied and busy in the home. Maybe you had to take on the role of teacher and therefore come up with creative ways to homeschool and teach parts of the national curriculum. Whatever the age of your children you will have honed those creative skills in some shape or form whilst finding ways to entertain and develop those key childhood milestones.

Build Your Confidence

There are so many more skills we perfect as mums and the above is just a starting point. Take some time to think about your killer mum skills, then use these to refresh and enhance your CV. This will help build confidence and increase your chances of getting your CV into the ‘yes’ pile and selected for an interview.

The Essential CV Makeover For Mums

If you are struggling to update your CV, you are not alone. That’s why we’ve launched our new course – The Essential CV Makeover for Mums.

We will guide you step-by-step through the process of writing your CV. And we’ll do this in five manageable chunks so that you can fit it around all your other commitments.

Book by 19th July to benefit from our Early Bird price of £49. You can find out more here: Essential CV Makeover For Mums.

Want to read more posts about making the most of your CV?

CV Writing after a career break.

How To Ace That Interview.